October 2009
92 posts
Merry Christmas, everybody! I’m drunk! Woo! … No, seriously. Happy Halloween. I’m just at work AT 3:30INTHEMORNINGOMGKILLMEIAMDELIRIOUS
2am, Saturday morning. I’m still at work. Oh, look! That was my sanity walking out the front door. Hmm. *drools*
If today were Halloween, I’d be going as one tired sumbitch. Fortunately, it’s tomorrow and I can go as one tired, drunk sumbitch.
It’s 12:45am Friday, and I am still at work. I can already tell that this day is gonna be as fun as one of these. http://gdzl.la/7bzTRU
Today is a Swell Season kinda day. I normally only like saying funny stuff and that isn’t funny. But, still. … Balls. There. Better.
You know what’s sexy? Trader Joe’s pumpkin muffins. That’s what. I mean, I’m talkin’, daaaamn sexy.
Southern California, where the hell is your normal temperature AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH IT?!
WWH1N1D?
Aaand the Best Album Title of the Year award goes to Tori Amos for “Abnormally Attracted To Sin”. That is an album I can really get behind.
Whenever a doctor wants to do xrays on me, I always tell them it’s unnecessary, yet somehow, they end up seeing right through me.
For Halloween I’m gonna go as drunk.
How’s it goin horse? Got a fly on your eyeball there. Say hello to your mother for me. #thingsireallysaidtoahorse http://gdzl.la/7akEmN
In case anyone needed to know where to get one of these, here you go. Now you know. http://gdzl.la/7akvdQ
The Last Temptation of Chris
#oneletteroffmovies (via @gruber)
I know it’s Halloween and all, but this is just fucking wrong: http://gdzl.la/7a5vpP
Hey, what’s Toby Keith up to these days, anyway? #fuckingrednecks
Now, if I could only find some boxes somewhere… http://gdzl.la/7a4CNA
And I know that this is doing it wrong but it’s my last one. Pantsless With Wolves #igiveup
Warning: this could go on for a while.
Bitanic #oneletteroffmovies and also #goodporntitles
Fights in Rodanthe #oneletteroffmovies
Friday the 14th #oneletteroffmovies (used this one for #dullesthorrormovies yesterday too) Versatility, baby!
Cocky #oneletteroffmovies
Citizen Kanye #oneletteroffmovies
Ghost Lusters #oneletteroffmovies
B Christmas Carol #oneletteroffmovies
Once Upon a Mime in America #oneletteroffmovies
The Drapes of Wrath #oneletteroffmovies #itwasamovietoogolookitup
Inglorious Bastards #oneletteroffmovies (and I can’t believe no one said this yet)
Diet Hard #oneletteroffmovies
Se8en #oneletteroffmovies
9 1/2 Geeks #oneletteroffmovies
I no longer take Sirius satellite radio seriously (har) because “The Pulse” station just played Nickelback. Siriusly, Sirius satellite?
It puts the creamer in it’s coffee.
Assuredly, I will hate life and wish for death in 3 hours when I have to be awake and alert. Awake, I can do. Alert is really pushing it.
I am uncomfortable when math has actual numbers in...
shoesonwrong:
Me: I wonder what the current biggest known prime number is.
Him: You don’t know?
Me: I’m not good with numbers.
Him: You majored in mathematics with a focus on number theory.
Me: Yeah, I didn’t major in being the fuckin’ Rain Man.
Sorry, guys. One last one. “The Shining Example” #dullesthorrormoviesever
HOTCHILIPEPPERDOWNTHEWINDPIPEHOLYFUCKINGSHIT
An American Cute-Wittle-Puppy-Dog in London #dullesthorrormoviesever
Friday the 14th #dullesthorrormoviesever
Me? Ambivalent? Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not.
Roller coasters that are emotional. Swings that are moody. When did inanimate objects start having feelings? WHAT ELSE HAVENT YOU TOLD ME?
Night of the Living Daylights #dullesthorrormoviesever
…George and Weezy? Lamont and Fred? Archie and Edith? Andy and Barney? Joni and Chachie? Greg and Marsha? Starsky and Hutch? Shit.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Balki Bartakamous and Cousin Larry walk into a bar..no wait…was it Arnold and Mr. Drummund? Shit.
Lady Gaga will be going as herself for Halloween. Cuz she’s scary, get it? That’s pretty much all I’ve got.
Nah, it’s cool. I’m holding out for a Google GnarlyWave invite, brah.
Know what we don’t focus on nearly enough? The fragility and finality of life, death and our own mortality. Yeah, I’ll just see myself out.
On the upside, I got word today that there’s this gangster out there who toootally wants to do me. Oh, wait.
iPhone™: Replacing the need for magazines in restrooms since 2006.