December 2009
52 posts
“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to...”
– Jack Kerouac (via reamien)
November 2009
17 posts
RT @aaroncourter: Oooooh, I got my first SEO email. I feel important. Or not. Or scammed. Whatever.
I’m running out of places to hide the bodies. #howtoquitsmoking
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Happy Thanksgiving, whatever. This year I’m grateful for something something just pass the damn gravy already would ya?
Just drank coffee so strong, it put chest hair ON MY CHEST HAIR. Did you know that the human body can vibrate by itself? This is all true.
RT @jonathanmead: “You are something that the whole universe is doing, in the same way that a wave is something that the whole ocean is …
A rock, a broken iPhone screen, razor blade, mace, thumbtacks, rubber bands…Macgruber would do some killer shit with the stuff in my desk.
Just wanted you all to know that I *think* true happiness *might* come in the form of a little blue pill. Called Xanax. You’re welcome.
“Further the Sky” by The Gabe Dixon Band is one of the best songs I’ve heard in a long, long time. Go look it up. You’ll thank me later.
I’ll even give you the link. How easy can it be, people? Take a listen. ♫ Further The Sky - The Gabe Dixon Band http://lala.com/zkjY ♫
Crazy homeless man screaming on street. Me, shouting out window: “Can you use your INSIDE VOICE PLEASE?” … “Oh…right. Nevermind, then.”
If I had to imagine what stabbing kittens with fiery pitchforks in hell sounded like, I’d guess it’s like Sheryl Crow’s “Leaving Las Vegas”.
If Tim Meadows and Barack Obama had a love child, he would look EXACTLY like my bank teller. It’s a crazy world out there, kids.
RT @joesmithreally: There’s no such thing as sex addiction. Fuck that.
Just wanted to say if I die today, it wasn’t the years of abusing tobacco, alcohol and drugs. It was that fucking burrito I just ate.
Random fact: Pretty Maids All in a Row by The Eagles is one of the prettiest songs of all time.
If by “phone it in” you mean “spend the day sleeping pantsless under my desk” then yeah, I’d agree. I should have “phoned it in” today.
For the life of me, I just can’t figure out *why* they call it “stoned” cuz…that would indicate pain, right? #greatmysteriesoflife